circle vs. square

often I lay in silence
thoughts smoldering in uncertainty
there's an emptiness I struggle to fill
attempts are made at finding fulfillment
but I always find myself falling short
it's a consuming feeling
the process of continuously faltering
trying to be better than you once were
more times than not
seems like a kite in a lightning storm
never stood a chance

I ask myself
question after question
striving to find an answer to any one
wanting to find purpose
but mostly finding failure
doubt discovered
self-resentment flourishing
yet I am here
still continuously faltering
because that's how it goes

we spend so much time
in search of our purpose
some never find it
some know what it is from the start
others tell you what it is
others say they don't know
maybe it's meant to be that way

often I lay in silence
eyes closed, mind open
and in that silence
I hear all my mishaps
I see all my failures
I feel all my pain

but there's one thing that silence brings
something just as crucial:
acceptance of self.
though it's not always easy
insecurity rings loudly
that's a battle that is vital
that fight is filled with something special––
purpose